


After Rio

by trailerparktrixie



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-20
Updated: 2016-10-14
Packaged: 2018-08-16 10:17:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 14,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8098297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trailerparktrixie/pseuds/trailerparktrixie
Summary: Rio.  It was done.  It was over.  The shock and awe had come but not in the form any of them would have dared predicted.  The entire world had not predicted this.  Kelley worried about Hope.  Trouble just looming over her head.  Like a dark cloud just waiting to unleash the storm.  
And storm it did.  A perfect storm.  Would Ashlyn, Ali, and Emily find a way to help Kelley without taking themselves down?  Would Hope’s path of destruction finally break the hold she had on Kelley?





	1. Break Her Again

Rio. It was done. It was over. The shock and awe had come but not in the form any of them would have dared predicted. The entire world had not predicted this. Here it was nearly two days later and they were still stunned after the loss. Although all felt the pain, some withstood it better than others.

Kelley worried about Hope. Hope was withdrawing more and more with each passing hour. Trouble just looming over her head. Like a dark cloud just waiting to unleash the storm. It was the after game interview. It didn’t seem that bad at first. Then it seemed to take on a life of its own. The media wanted it to. After all, it was Hope Solo. 

With each passing hour. Hell, they didn’t even wait for a four hour news cycle. Another article was released and each one detailed with glee every little and yes, some were large, transgression Hope had ever made. Some were even going back as far as High School. Twitter was unstoppable. Now it seemed that the entire population of the U.S. would be placated with nothing short of Hope Solo’s head on a stake. It didn’t seem to help that several of the Swedish players were saying that they didn’t take it personally and weren’t upset with Hope.

Hope was pushing Kelley away. Not talking to her. Not responding to her touch. Moving away from her in the night. Now Hope was no longer answering the door or her phone. Taking meals in her room when she bothered to eat anything. Text messages. Kelley might as well have been shouting those words off her balcony to strangers in the street below. 

Kelley feared it was going to end for her just like London. Hope was going to run. Shut her out. Kelley wasn’t sure she was up for that again. Kelley was afraid she wasn’t up for that again. In the back of her mind she just couldn’t see being Hope Solo’s Push Me Pull Me toy again. She wasn’t 24 years old anymore and she had given up so much. So many indignities she had withstood at the hands of Hope Solo. The fear grew worse. It had surpassed the loss even. 

Kelley went down to the team meeting. The NT staff was going to lay out their options for the rest of the Olympics. Each player could decide from a list what they wanted to do for the rest of the games. Kelley scanned the room. No Hope. She waited near the door. The staff began closing the doors as the meeting started. No Hope. Kelley barely listened. Her eyes were trained on the door. The meeting was adjourned. Kelley took the form she was to fill out stating her preference. She took another look for Hope. Then it hit her. Carli wasn’t here either. Hope and Carli not here. Not a coincidence. Kelley felt it her spine. Felt it in her chest. Kelley willed her legs to take her out of there. There. Where her teammates looked at her side eyed. She hated that. “Here she is again,” she imagined them thinking.

At that moment Kelley knew. She ran out of the meeting and to the elevator madly pushing the buttons over and over. Kelley’s teammates were now catching up with her. A small knot of them all pooling by the elevators. They knew something was wrong. They had noticed Hope and Carli were not at the meeting. By the actions of Kelley, they knew this was news to her and it wasn’t good. Kelley tried not to cry.

The doors finally opened. Kelley jumped in and pushed the floor number. She willed those doors to shut. The ride up was an eternity although one she didn’t want to end. It delayed what she felt was inevitable. The doors opened and Kelley dashed out. What she saw froze her in her steps. There was Carli, in the hallway pulling her luggage behind her. Their eyes met and Carli looked down at the floor.

“Where’s Hope?” Kelley demanded. Her voice shaking. Just then a room door opened and out came Hope pulling her luggage behind her. 

The rest of the team was exiting the elevator watching the scene unfold. The younger ones were afraid of what was going to happen. The veterans knew what was going to happen. The particulars might change, but the end result wouldn’t. All of their rooms were beyond the unfolding scene. No escape.

Ali started shoving her teammates into the small snack machine alcove. When Ashlyn saw what Ali was doing she started helping. It was the only thing they could do for Kelley. Ali blocked the entry way. Her stomach churned. Kelley didn’t deserve this. She never did. 

Kelley was raising her arms up to intercept Hope. “Hope no. Where are you going Hope? Wait. I’ll go.” Ali could just hear the tears in Kelley’s voice. Ashlyn could see Ali cringing with each word so she did the only thing she could do for Ali. She wrapped her arms around her.

“Kelly we are leaving now. The car is waiting for us down stairs. Please get out of the way.”

“No Hope. I can pack in 10 minutes. Wait?”

“Kelley, don’t you get it? I don’t want you. All your little plans how we could go see this event or that. Your endless chattering. You just don’t get it do you? I had a shit storm of a game and then gave them exactly what they wanted. You don’t figure into this at all.”

“Hope I don’t care. I never cared. Don’t leave like this again. You promised me Hope.” Kelley pleads as she clutches Hope’s arms.

Hope finally looks Kelley in the eyes as she smacks Kelley’s arms away. “Kelley you are exhausting. Your happy go lucky, perky fucking shit. Always following me around. Even in the pitch black I still have a shadow running behind me. Get off my back. You constantly at me makes me sick. Fucking grow up Kelley.”

The elevator door was opening. Carli entered it and held it while Hope strode down the hallway to join Carli. As Hope passed the alcove Ali shook Ashlyn’s arms off her and stepped out. “Hope you make me sick the way you treat her. You beat her down over and over and just when she gets back up, you come back. You are one sick fuck.” 

“Krieger, if you guys would do your job right when you put her back together she wouldn’t keep coming to me.”

Ashlyn stepped out of the alcove. She was not going to allow Hope to talk to Ali that way. Just then the elevator door closed.

“Oh God Ash. Look at her.” Ali cried softly. Kelley was slumping down the wall to the floor. “Ash keep everyone in here until I get her up and into her room. Kelley is rooming with Emily. Take Emily to our room and keep her there all night. I am going to stay with Kelley.”

“Yeah Ali. Ok. Sounds good. Fuck. If you need me or anything at all for her just let me know.”

Ali was already walking to Kelley. She had to pick her up and practically carry Kelley down the hall like a rag doll with half the stuffing missing.


	2. Night Guardian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for interest in the story. Love the comments. A lively bunch you are.

They had just made it into the room when Kelley started gagging. Ali dragged her into the bathroom. Ali sat on the side of the tub and stretched Kelley over her legs so that Kelley could reach the toilet bowl. Kelley retched and retched. Choking on it. Setting off her body into another round. Ali just held on to her, stroking her back, pulling her hair out of the way. It tore at Ali.

When the retching subsided she moved Kelley to the side of the tub and went to fetch a bottle of water. “Here Kelley. Rinse your mouth.” Kelley didn’t respond so Ali repeated her request. This time Kelley did as she was asked. Ali turned to the sink. She wanted to get Kelley’s tooth brush for her. It was easy to tell which one was Kelley’s. It was the one inside the tote with Solo embroidered on it. At any other time that would have made Ali smile. Ali picked out the tooth brush and toothpaste and then threw a towel over the tote hiding it.

Ali pulled Kelley from her slumped position over the tubs side to a semi kneeling one and positioned herself to hold her up. “Ok Kelley. Let’s get your teeth brushed.” Kelley had no response so Ali applied toothpaste to the brush and put it in Kelley’s hand. Kelley just looked at it like she didn’t know what it was. Ali raised the brush to Kelley’s mouth and Kelley did open up. Ali brushed her teeth gently and then brought the water bottle up to Kelley’s mouth. “Time to rinse.” Kelley followed orders. Orders Ali never wanted to give to anybody let alone Kelley.

“Good. Let’s get you in bed now.” Ali pulled Kelley to her feet and led her to the bed and turned her around pushing Kelley onto it in a sitting position. It was like Kelley wasn’t even there. Ali knelt and took off Kelley’s shoes and then laid her back on the bed.

“Stay here Kelley. I’m going to get a few things and I’ll be right back.” No response. Ali quickly tossed all of the pillows from both beds to headboard of the bed Kelly laid on. She then went to the bathroom to find aspirin, tissues, wet a face towel and retrieve a dry hand towel. She placed all of these items on the bedside table. 

Ali checked the door to insure the security latch was thrown and then turned off all of the lights except the one on the far side of the room. She wanted to be able to see. Ali clicked the TV on to provide some background noise and placed her phone on the bed. Ali then stripped off her own shoes and jeans.

Ali then went to Kelley. “Let’s take your jeans off.” Ali said gently as she unbuttoned them and pulled the zipper down. Kelley didn’t move so Ali slid Kelley’s jeans off of her. She found Kelley’s phone in the back pocket and quickly checked to make sure it was tuned off. Ali turned the bed down and then sat Kelley upright. “Time to get in bed.”

Ali crawled into the bed laying up against the head board and pulled Kelley towards her. She laid Kelley between her legs with her head resting on a pillow that Ali had placed on her thigh. Ali was becoming worried. Kelley wasn’t crying. Was it catatonia? Shock? Kelley was in some degree of shock she decided. Ali examined her closely. Kelley was blinking occasionally. Breathing seemed a little fast. She was a little pale but she wasn’t clammy. Ali watched the bedside clock as she took Kelley’s pulse from her neck. Slightly elevated but not alarming. Ali would have to keep a close eye on her. Ali could not help but notice how this big ball of personality was in fact so small. 

Kelley just laid there staring at the window not moving. Shutting herself down. Crawling inside herself to hide. Ali stroked her head and hummed lightly to her. She didn’t know what else to do. Then Ali’s phone went off. Kelley bolted into an upright position. “My phone. Where’s my phone?” Kelley was getting worked up. Ali kept hold of her. “Kelley, that’s mine.”

“Where’s mine? I need mine. I have to cal……” Then it happened. The dam broke. Kelley was wracked with sobs. Ali felt relief as she pulled Kelley back to her. Tightly wrapping her up in her arms. It was then that it struck Ali again at just how small Kelley was. So fierce and relentless on the field. But here in her arms, so tiny a figure to be dealing with a presence as large as Hope Solo. Hope fucking Solo.

“I got you. I got you.” Ali whispered over and over while rocking Kelley. It seemed like hours to Ali but Kelley finally started quieting down. Kelley, exhausted and spent. Ali reached for the tissues and cleaned Kelley up. Got her to blow her nose a couple of times. 

“Kelley, I want you to take a couple of aspirin for me.” Ali said as she pulled Kelley into an upright position. She handed Kelley two aspirins and held out a water bottle. Kelley did as she was told. While Kelley did that Ali discretely put her phone on vibrate and shoved it under a couple of pillows.

Ali reached for the damp wash cloth and hand towel. “Let’s get you cleaned up a little.” Ali said as she wiped down Kelley’s face and neck with the cloth. Ali was careful with her. Kelley looked away. Kelley burned with embarrassment. Ali then towels Kelley off and brushed her hair away from her face. “It’s ok.” Ali whispered while placing a kiss on Kelley’s forehead. “It’s ok. I got you.”

Kelly finally looked up at her. It broke Ali’s heart to see the pain and dread in Kelley’s blood shot watery eyes. Kelley nodded her head and then curled her body, pressing herself into Ali harder while tightly grasping on to Ali’s shoulder. It felt to Ali as though Kelley was holding on to her so that she wouldn’t spiral out into the storm. Ali fought back tears.

Ali sat through her silent guard. Feeling her phone vibrate. Finally she noticed that Kelley’s breathing was evening out and her grip was slacking off. Kelley was falling asleep. Ali eyed the clock. If nothing else happened in the next 30 minutes she would text Ashlyn back. She knew Ashlyn was concerned and waiting but she couldn’t risk waking Kelley or Kelley seeing/hearing the phone.

So Ali sat in that darkened room. Watching over her friend. Kelley occasionally twitched and Ali would respond by stoking her while whispering comforting words. It was all the arrows Ali held in her quiver. She only hoped that they were enough. They felt paltry to Ali as she waited on that clock to count down the minutes. The minutes that she waited before she dared call Ashlyn who was just three doors down but felt miles away. Ali knew Ashlyn was sitting there. Staring at her own clock. Waiting on Ali’s call and feeling inadequate.


	3. Team Kelley

While Ali waited she thought about Hope. At first white hot anger ruled her thoughts. She wanted Hope gone, but even that wouldn’t be a guarantee that Hope would stay away from Kelley. Or that Kelley would be able to stay away from Hope. Ali had to admit that over the last year it did look like things were going to work out for them. Hope had finally divorced Jerramy and things had been fairly smooth sailing. Well, as smooth as things could ever be with Hope. At least she hadn’t been jerking Kelley around anymore. 

To be honest Ali almost felt a little responsible that this relationship between Kelley and Hope even existed. She knew it was unfair to herself but she couldn’t help it. If Ali hadn’t torn her ACL Kelley wouldn’t have been on the 2012 Olympic roster or would have been an alternate. Kelley definitely would not have been required to switch suddenly to defense and be forced to work with Hope so much to learn the new position. Kelley relied on Hope and stuck to her like glue for most of that year. Kelley developed her crush during that time and for some reason Hope did not turn her away as she had the others before Kelley. Kelley was roomed with Hope in London which is where the physical relationship started. Then Hope dropped Kelley soon after they got back to the States. Hope returned to Kelley a few months later and then dropped her again. 

Then came Hopes marriage to Jerramy. Another Solo disaster. So many fights, break ups, and there was Kelly each time, Hopes convenient fall back. Still, Hope did eventually chose Kelley and things were good. Until this crisis. Hope has reverted to standard Solo behavior. Running away. Shutting people out. Lashing out. Especially at the one who loved her the most. Kelley. Ali gathered Kelley up even tighter in her arms as though she could protect her from Hope. There was no protection from Hope for Kelley. Hope was like a siren to Kelley. “Hope is a siren, thought Ali. A bad one. A four alarm fire.”

Ali knew that Hope had a hard upbringing, but how old do you have to be? How many people do you get to hurt before that is no longer a valid excuse? Get help and get it fixed for crying out loud. That was the crux of the problem with Hope. She refused help and thought she could just bulldoze her way through trouble leaving chaos in her wake. The chaos that was usually Kelley’s weight to bare.

 

The 30 minutes had passed. Ali pulled out her phone now.

Ash: Do you need help?  
Ash: Everything ok?  
Ash: It’s hard to wait.

Finally, the phone Ashlyn held in her hand vibrated signaling a text. Ashlyn had wanted to hear Ali’s voice but she knew that in that room, talking might not be possible.

Ali: It’s been rough. Couldn’t answer until now.  
Ash: Do you need anything? Should I come down?  
Ali: Thought I was going to need Dawn.  
Ash: I can go get her.  
Ali: Don’t. I finally have her asleep.  
Ash: Emily keeps asking.  
Ali: Tell her Kelley is asleep.  
Ash: The earliest we can leave is in two days.  
Ali: Put the three of us on that plane. Help Emily make the right decision about what she wants to do.  
Ash: She already said that we should take Kelley home.

That made Ali paused. Emily was being pulled into this. Ali knew she shouldn’t decide for Emily if she wanted to be involved. Emily, so young. Did she really know what she was signing up for?

Ali: Ok, get all four of us on the plane. Try and get us seated together.  
Ali: Get four tickets to an event tomorrow. Something indoor. I don’t want Kelley in the sun.  
Ash: On it. Have an event in mind?  
Ali: Something out of the way. Not high profile.  
Ash: Good idea. Let’s also avoid wearing any USA gear.  
Ali: Get up and showered in the morning. I’ll let you know what to do once I get Kelley up.  
Ash: Ok. Love you.  
Ali: Love you.

Ali thought a minute.

Ali: Ash get tickets for flights to NJ for Kelly and me. Is that ok?  
Ash: Great idea Ali. I’m ok with it. Love you doing that.  
Ali: Thank you Ash. Love you.

Ali wakes with a start. Her arms are empty. The bed beside her is empty. Where’s Kelley? Oh god. Ali leaps out of bed and starts running towards the door. As she passes the bathroom she hears the shower. She tries the door. Not locked. Ali tries to collect herself. She cautiously enters the bathroom. “Kelley, its Ali. Everything ok?”

“Yes.”

Ali peeks in the shower. Kelley is just standing in the spray. “Need some help?”

“No.”

“Did you get any clothes out?”

“No.”

“Ok. I am going to check with Ash. I asked her to get us some tickets for an event today. I’ll see what it is and then pick you out some clothes and bring them in for you.” Ali is shaking. Still dealing with the fright of an empty bedside.

“Ok.”

Ali calls Ashlyn. Ashlyn answered on one ring.

“Ali, everything ok?”

“Yes. I had a scare. Kelley wasn’t in the bed when I woke up and honestly, I thought the worst. I found her in the shower which is where she is now. She is only speaking in hollow sounding one word sentences. At least she’s speaking now. What tickets were you able to come up with on such short notice?”

“Ping pong.”

“Ping pong? Well, I guess it fits the bill.”

“I also got badminton. We can chose or do both.”

“Sounds good.”

“Nothing with any fighting, wrestling, or sharp objects.” Ashlyn informed.

“Sounds like you thought of everything. Could you and Emily go down and get us some breakfast and bring it up. Only if Emily wants to. Nothing strong. I don’t think Kelley will eat much.”

“We are on it.” Ali can hear Ashlyn talking to Emily. “Emily, let’s go get the gals some breakfast. You with me?” Ali hears Emily reply in the affirmative. “See you soon.” Ash says as she ends the call.

By the time Emily and Ash arrive at the room. Kelley is showered, dressed, sitting against the headboard and staring at the TV. Ali is avoiding any news or Olympic channels. Kelley thankfully, isn’t fighting her about it. Emily and Ash enter the room with big smiles on their faces.

Ashlyn walks to the table with two trays and Emily with her two trays walks over to the bed Kelley is on. Emily leaves one tray on the side table and then walks around the bed to Kelley and places the other tray across Kelley’s legs and removes the lid.

“First, I got you tea instead of coffee. Maybe after you eat we can stop on our way to the events and get you coffee if you want. Next, you have some scrambled eggs, a toasted bagel, and toast. I didn’t know which one you would want. I also got you a banana to replace some of the potassium you lost.”

At that Kelley’s head snaps around and she narrowed her eyes at Emily. Emily froze and her smile slid off her face. Ash and Ali looked at each other and tense. Ali started to get up when Emily started talking again.

“I also got you three different types of cream cheese for your bagel. Strawberry, plain, and maple walnut. You could put a different one on each half if you want. Here’s some salt and pepper for your eggs in case they need it.” With that, Emily got up and walked over to the other side of the bed, got in and reached for her own tray. “I have oatmeal so if you want to trade anything for it just let me know.”

Ashlyn and Ali looked at each. Emily was good at this. So good. 

“Ali, you should eat up because you still need to shower yet. We have about 90 minutes before the car gets here.” Ashlyn informed Ali.


	4. Admit The Ship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ali and Ashlyn are starting to disagree.

Finally they were down in the lobby walking out to the taxi. Ashlyn got in the front and Emily and Ali sandwiched Kelley between them in the back. A very quiet Kelley.

They walked into the badminton venue and chose seats set off to the side away from most of the crowd with Kelley again placed between Emily and Ali. Emily was keeping up a steady stream of patter with Kelley. Not that Kelley was contributing much. Emily was persistent in a very gentle way. Emily had even gotten Kelley to softly smile once as she relayed stories of her childhood back yard badminton games which seemed to consist of chasing the dog around that stole the birdy or getting out a ladder to retrieve it off the roof.

“Who does that remind you of?” Ashlyn whispered to Ali. 

Ali tilted her head towards Kelley. Ashlyn nodded and smiled. “Good thing we have Emily.” Ali nodded right back but felt uneasy about it.

They had been at the event for about three hours. It actually wasn’t bad. The players were very athletic and the shuttlecocks were hit back and forth with blinding speed. Ashlyn’s phone vibrated and she read the text that came in.

Emily: Kelley didn’t eat much. I think we should go get some snacks.

Ashlyn: Go ahead and suggest it.

“Kelley, I’m a little hungry. Want to come with me to see what kind of snacks they have here?” Emily asked gently while placing her hand on Kelley’s forearm.

Kelley just shrugged and started to stand.

“Ash, why don’t you go with them? I could use a snack myself. You know what I like.” Ashlyn had wanted Emily and Kelley to go by themselves but it was clear Ali thought they should have some supervision.

“Ok. Hold our seats.” Ashlyn said as she rose.

They returned with soft pretzels and water for everyone. After another hour they decided to leave and go to the ping pong event that was about to start. It was within walking distance. Before they left both Ashlyn and Ali hid their hair up under their hats to make them less recognizable. They walked over in formation with Kelley boxed in the middle. They made it there without being recognized.

If the badminton games had been surprisingly athletic, ping pong was even more so. Especially the doubles competition where the partners dashed in and out from the table and the ball moved at such speed that sometimes you didn’t even see it. Kelley even seemed to be getting into it. A USA women’s team was up. They were cheering them on with the rest of the crowd. Nobody was yelling Zika here thank God. That would have sent Kelley into a tailspin. Ali gave silent thanks.

Two hours in and Ashlyn handed Emily $30 and suggested that she and Kelley go get hot dogs and sodas for everyone. Ali shot Ashlyn a look. Ashlyn just let it go. Emily and Kelley took off.

“You know I don’t want them to be on their own Ashlyn.” Ali admonished Ashlyn.

“I think were safe here. They are probably safer without either one of us with them. If this was the airport, a mall, or something like that I would agree. We’ll wait 20 minutes and if they haven’t returned by then I will go find them. Besides, I think Emily can handle it if anything does happen.”

Ali just took out her phone and set the timer for 20 minutes. “We will have dinner in the room tonight. We can order pizza in and play cards.” Ali, set in her worried state, has decided seclusion being the best plan.

“I think we should eat out and then go play cards. Keep Kelley away from the rest of team as much as possible.” Ashlyn countered. “You know she is going to get pity looks from them or they are going to try and avoid looking at her. What are the sleeping arrangements tonight?”

“Ashlyn I do get your point. It’s valid, but what if we are recognized. I would bet there is a 100% chance if we are Hope will be brought up. It’s so fresh. Same as last night.” 

“Ali you can always tell when we are about to be recognized. We will just have Emily take Kelley away and whoever it is, they will approach us. Were bigger names. More recognizable. I think Emily could handle Kelley tonight as long as nothing else happens today.”

“Emily shouldn’t have to handle Kelley. She should not be placed in that position. There is not enough history there. It could make things awkward later down the road.” Ali said with a heaviness.

“You ship them.” Ashlyn said so casually that Ali almost missed it.

“Shut up. So have you. No way it could happen until next year some time if at all so don’t get your hopes up to high. The more drama that happens to Solo the longer it is going to take and the higher the likelihood those two could wind up back together. You know how protective Kelley is of her. You need to think about Emily also.” Ali was also thinking about herself a few years ago. When things were much more murky between Ashlyn and herself. 

Kelley and Emily were walking up the stands. Everyone settled in with their snacks. At 5:30 Ashlyn made the suggestion that they leave and find a place for dinner which earned her another glare from Ali but no argument. Emily was all up for it and Kelley just shrugged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those that asked, yes Solo will be returning in a few chapters.


	5. Ali’s Switch Flipped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Strong words from a fan carry over to Ali.

They didn’t have to wait long to catch a cab. “Hey, I saw a Jamaican place about two blocks from the hotel. We could try that and then we could walk back.” Ashlyn suggested. Emily was on board. Kelley was just going along. Ali agreed so Jamaican it was.

The meal was actually nice. Kelley had perked up a little bit under Emily and Ashlyn’s constant stream of bad jokes and teasing. Each putting their best effort in. They were just waiting for the bill. Ali was actually beginning to relax when she saw Ashlyn’s face.

“Hey Emily.” Ashlyn’s said. “Why don’t you and Kelley go ahead and start back. Keep an eye out for an ice cream shop on the way. Ali and I will settle up and catch up with you.”

Emily got it right away. “Come on Kelley. Let’s ditch the geezers.” Emily chided as she practically pulled Kelley out of her seat and through the side door to the outside. Less than a minute later a man and a woman approached their table. “Mind if we get an autograph and some pictures with you both?” They asked.

“Sure.” Ashlyn replied.

“Who was that leaving? More teammates?” The man asked.

“Friends that had tickets to another event. They had to run to make it.” Ashlyn lied easily.

Menus were autographed and pictures taken. Ali and Ashlyn were turning to leave. “What do you think of all this stuff with Solo?” The man asked. “Should she have even been on the team in the first place? If I did what she’s done I would be in jail. Now she played like crap and has shot her mouth off again.”

“No comment.” Ashlyn said as she led Ali away. They walked quickly up the sidewalk, hurrying to catch up with Emily and Kelley. Ali could barely keep from running. She felt fear. Then she spotted them. They were ok. Ali slowed down and tried to look more relaxed. “Hey you two.” She called out.

Emily looked back warily raising her arm behind Kelley’s back as if to shield her. Emily brightened when she saw who it was. “No ice cream shops.” She reported. Ali saw the protectiveness of Emily. Ali felt like they were taking advantage of Emily or allowing her to go someplace she shouldn’t be.

“I say we call up room service and order a round of hot fudge Sundays.” Ali suggested.

“Yowza.” Shouted Ashlyn. “You’re on.” Added Emily. 

Emily then looked at Kelley. “What do you say Kelley? No worries about Dawn. Shoot for the moon. She will have us back on diets in no time.” Emily reached out and grabbed Kelley’s hand.

Kelley gave Emily a wan smile. Kelley seemed to know what Emily was doing. Had been doing all day. “Sounds great. Then dealers choice for the card games.” It lacked emphasis. It was the best Kelley could do. They made it back into the hotel and to their floor with no other issues. 

“How about we go and change in to comfy clothes and then come down to your room?” Ali offered.

“I like it.” Emily pronounced as she opened the door to their room. “See you in 15 minutes.”

Ashlyn and Ali entered their room. 

“Fuck Solo and the messes she leaves for others to clean up.” Ali fumed while kicking the bed. “I am sick of her fucked up shit. Ash, if we get any say at all I am saying I want her gone.” Ali seethed. The tension of the day had caught up with her. Ali’s switch had flipped so fast it caught Ashlyn off balance.

“Gone because she called Sweden cowards? That’s harsh. You want her gone because of what she did to Kelley and that doesn’t belong in that decision. She’ll be gone by the end of the friendlies that are scheduled. Jill will want to start grooming the next one. Think about it Ali. That is something that will be hard to live with.” Ashlyn was treading lightly but she wasn’t going to lie to Ali.

“I can’t believe you are saying that Ashlyn. Hope Solo has been the most divisive person on this team for over 15 years. She shouldn’t have been on this Olympic team and you know it. If she were a man with those charges she never would have been selected.” Ashlyn had never seen Ali so intense.

“Ali. I don’t disagree with that, but that is a failure of the USSF a long time ago. Let’s keep to the subject at hand.” Ashlyn worried that this had greater implications. Ali felt it so deeply.

“The subject at hand is Kelley. How the hell is she going to continue? Facing Hope over and over after this. If she doesn’t separate from Hope now I am afraid this could cause her to lose her spot. Hope will drag her down with her.”

“You are right. Kelley is what is important right now. Let’s change, pull our clothes out for tomorrow and pack everything else right now. You can pack up Kelley after we call it a night and then we can help Emily tomorrow.” Ashlyn evenly offered.

“Sorry Ashlyn. You are right. We just need to focus on what needs to be done now. Could we do breakfast the same way tomorrow as we did today?” Ali requested trying to even herself out.

“Yes. I think that would be best.”

“Would you also get ahold of Kelley’s roommates and let them know when I will be bringing her home and the time? Call Christie also, please”

“Christie?”

I’m not sure. I think taking her there might be best. Just tell her I am going to play it by ear.” Said Ali sounding a little remote.

“Sure Ali.” Ashlyn confirmed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 6 - Escaping Rio


	6. Escaping Rio

They made it to the airport on time and were now waiting to board. They had been lucky. Ali was bone tired. Last night had been another hard one. Kelley had cried herself to sleep again and then woke up from a nightmare in the middle of the night resulting in another crying jag. Kelley was drowsing in her seat. Head resting on Emily. Ali would not allow her eyes to close until they were on that plane and in the air. She would stand guard. Ali felt it very internally. She wasn’t sure why. Ali just knew she did.

Once airborne, Kelley fell asleep immediately. Emily reach across and closed the window shade and then spread Kelley’s blanket out over her legs. Ali felt her phone signal a text.

Ash: That was sweet.  
Ali: At any other time it would be.  
Ash: What?  
Ali: Emily is in deep.  
Ash: Maybe just what Kell needs to make her forget about Solo.  
Ali: Have you not seen Kell frantically jumping all over the internet looking for signs about Hope? Right now Kelley shouldn’t give a shit about her. Hope kicked her like a dog.  
Ash: Maybe someone treating her right will make her forget about Solo?  
Ali: Probably only as long as Hope decides to stay away. Sorry, but I need some sleep.  
Ash: Go to sleep Babe. I’ll keep an eye on things.  
Ali looked over at Ash and mouthed the words I love you. Ashly repeated them back. Ali was asleep in minutes. Relinquishing the guarding to Ashlyn.

Ali woke up. Someone was shaking her. Startled, it took her a minute to figure out where she was. 

“Wake up Ali. It’s time to eat.”

Ali stretched and then looked at Emily and Kelley. Both were asleep. Ali reached over and shook Emily’s leg lightly a few times. Emily groggily opened her eyes. “Would you wake Kelly up please? I can’t reach her from here. It’s time to eat.” Emily’s eyes shot open. She was awake now. She undid her seat belt and slid forward.

Emily shook Kelley’s arm gently. “Kelley. Kelley. It’s time to wake up. They are going to feed us shortly.” Kelley slowly woke up. “I think I’ll hit the restroom before they serve us.” With that, Kelley was gone. Emily looked a little deflated. Ali did not miss that.

Ali leaned over towards Ash. “Anything happen?”

“I sent you an email covering it.”

Ali pulled out her tablet and pulled up her email and began to read. 

Ali,  
Kelley slept for a couple hours but began to jerk around in her seat. Looked like a nightmare again. Emily woke her up and asked if she was ok. Kelley said she was and then pulled up her phone and spent an hour trolling around. Probably looking for Hope like you said. She then fell back asleep and so did Emily. You snored. No drool that I saw.  
Ash

Ali started typing as well as wiping her mouth.

Ash,  
Kelley took her phone with her when she left. Probably checking for Hope again. After we eat, why don’t you try to sleep? I’ll keep an eye out on things. Thanks for watching over us. Love you.  
Ali.

Ashlyn read. “Sounds like a plan Ali.”

Ali felt anxious again. Close to the bone it was feeling. Of a time long ago with Ashlyn. When Ali was alone in a foreign country trying to deal with the worse hurt anyone had ever dealt her.

***************************************************

They disembarked the plane. It never felt so good to be back on US soil again. They scanned the signage to figure out where the terminals were that each of them needed. Once sorted, Ali pulled Ashlyn aside so they could say their goodbyes.

“Ash, this is where we split up.”

“It’s only for two days. Piece of cake.” Ashlyn thought things were going well.

“You have two hours. Walk Emily to her gate and maybe talk to her about……...”

“I wasn’t just going to drop her. I’ll keep the talk high level.”

“Thank you.” Hugs were exchanged and Kelley and Ali walked off towards their gate. Ashlyn began walking. She noticed Emily wasn’t beside her. 

Ashlyn turned and found Emily still rooted to her spot watching Ali and Kelley walking off. “Hey Emily. This way.” Ashlyn called out.

Emily turned to Ashlyn. Her cheeks and ears pinked. Ashlyn just smiled and waved her over. 

They walked for a bit before Ashlyn broached the subject. “Emily, I don’t know what you know, but Kelley has been here before.”

“Here? Oh, Hope. Yeah, I have heard a few things. I…… Kelley……. It just doesn’t make sense to me.”

“If it’s any consolation, it doesn’t make sense to most people. Kelley is going to be in limbo for a long time and there is no guarantee how this will play out.” Ashlyn cautioned.

“Kelley deserves better. Hope has always been nice to me. I didn’t know what to expect. What I had heard and read didn’t match up. It’s confusing. Was confusing. Until a couple of days ago. I’ve never seen anything like that before. The way it happened. Kelley hurting like she is.” Emily admitted as she nervously fingered her backpack straps. “How could Hope do that?”

“Kelley gets both Hopes. A lot of the drama was about who Hope loved or coming to terms with being with a woman. I can accept most of those issues. The other stuff was pure Hope lashing out and legal trouble which had nothing to do with Kelley. That’s not to say that it didn’t affect her and didn’t cause strife between those two.” Ashlyn took a breath while she tried to figure out the right words. “The hallway thing was different. It was public and directed right at Kelley. It was mean and vicious.” Ashlyn examined Emily’s response at these words. Ashlyn wished she knew Emily better so she could read her face. “I don’t think anyone saw that coming. Not even Hope and Kelley.”

“Here’s your gate Emily. You have a little time. Need to buy anything? Snack?”

“No, I’m good.”

“Good. There’s a couple of seats for us.”

“Ashlyn no offense, but you don’t have to babysit me. I would like to be alone.”

“Ok. Sorry.” Ashlyn was surprised at Emily’s ability to stand up and speak her mind.

“Thanks for the talk.” Emily said sincerely.

“See you at camp in a few weeks.” Ashlyn said while clapping Emily on her back.

“You too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 7 - Ali has a confession to make.


	7. Boogie Man In The Closet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashlyn and Ali struggle with the past.

Kelley directed Ali out to the freeway.

“I didn’t know you were coming to Jersey with me until we changed planes. You didn’t have too.” Kelley said embarrassed.

“Maybe I needed to? Kelley change places with me for a second? What would you have done for me?” Ali said with it being a more forceful question than she meant. Ali knew what she wished someone had done for her years ago.

“I get it. I’m just tired of it. Being Poor Kelley.”

“Nobody thinks Poor Kelley and let’s not discuss this in the car.” Ali knew how it felt. It had been on her mind.

“I really don’t want to discuss this at all.” It was a quiet request from Kelley that Ali wasn’t sure she could honor.

Kelley was in her bedroom unpacking and Ali dragged Kelley’s roommates out to the deck. Ali gave them a run-down of what she expects them to do.

Try not to leave her alone.  
Try to get her out of the house.  
Make sure she eats.  
Try to keep her off her phone.  
Do not engage Hope Solo if she shows up.  
If you consider dialing 911. Then dial it. It’s probably correct.  
If anything happens call Christie.

They agreed. Ali then called Christie to let her know that she had taken Kelley home and was going to spend the night there before catching a flight to Florida tomorrow afternoon. Ali wanted to see how Kelley’s roommates handled things. If she didn’t think they were up to the task she was going to take Kelley over to Christie’s house tomorrow. Christie agreed and assured Ali that she would keep a close eye on Kelley and make sure her Sky Blue teammates kept her busy.

Two hours later after a quick check in with Ashlyn, Ali declared it pizza and movie night. Everyone agreed and Kelley got to pick the movies. By 10:30 Kelley and Ali were barely awake and they called it a night. Ali was sleeping on the couch when she woke up to the sounds of crying. It was Kelley. Ali laid there waiting to see what would happen. She was just about to get up when she heard the floor upstairs creaking and a door open. A voice called out, “Kelley?” It was Sam Kerr. The door closed. Kelley cried harder and then it began to slacken off. Ali felt satisfied that Kelley’s roommates could handle this. She reach for her phone and sent Christie a text. 

Ali: Cap, the girls have this covered.

***************************************************

Ashlyn and Ali enter the house in Florida. Ashlyn carried the luggage into the bedroom. Ali appeared at the door. “Can we not do that now? Unpacking.”

“Sure Ali. What do you want to do?” Ashlyn feels the tightness in Ali’s words.

“Wine. Couch.” Ali replies avoiding Ashlyn’s gaze.

“Sounds good. Go sit and I’ll bring it to you.” Ashlyn could see the fatigue in Ali’s face but she felt like there was something else there. Some place that she didn’t want to go.

“Here you go.” They sat in quietly for the most part. Passed a little small talk back and forth. Out of the corner of Ashlyn’s eye she saw Ali’s shoulders begin to shake. Ashlyn barely had time to grab the wine glass out of Ali’s hands before Ali was full blown crying. All Ashlyn could do was hold her. She didn’t know what to say since Ali had not given her a clue to what had affected her. Maybe it just was the fatigue wearing on her?

“It was her voice. Kelley’s. When she said you promised. It was so broken and I remember when I said almost the same words to you Ashlyn. You made promises. Swore vows. Committed to things I never asked of you. I believed them. I believed them until the day when the evidence was so over whelming that I couldn’t. I felt stupid. As if you treated me like a game.” Ali tried to steady her breathing. “And just like Kelley is doing now I trolled all over the internet for evidence of you. I found you and I didn’t find you hurting. Far from it. You were riding cross country in an RV with an ever changing line up of women. Videotaping your good time and posting it for all the world to see. It tore me up for months Ash.” Now bitterness and pain entered Ali’s voice.

“Then you came back. Asking forgiveness. I didn’t think I could take you back. The pain was so unbelievable. Like I had a gaping hole in me. I was just like Kelley is about Hope. I couldn’t let you go although everything I knew and believed in said it would best if I did. Eventually, I came to believe in you. I waited for years for the other shoe to drop. Said I didn’t, but there it is. I lied. I guess those fears are back now that we are separated. Me in DC and you in Florida. I’m sorry. You have done nothing to cause this. It’s just that I thought maybe Kelley and Hope had it right this time. First hand I clearly saw how quickly it could unraveled.” Ali wiped at her eyes, embarrassed that she had thrown this in Ashlyn’s face. This was supposed to be all water under the bridge.

Ashlyn had just let Ali speak. Unloading her fears. Clearly there was a Boogie Man in the closet that Ali had forgotten about and these recent events had caused her to remember him. 

“Ali you know I am never out alone. I don’t take someone with me to keep me on the straight and narrow. I do it because I am going out without an agenda. I think it would help if I didn’t let those women taking pictures with me get so close. Frankly, sometimes I am uncomfortable with it myself.” Ashlyn stopped here to collect her thoughts. She believed she knew what was needed but she was hesitant to voice it. Afraid Ali would take it the wrong way. “Ali our season is almost over and then you will be down here, in Florida. It will be different because you will be actually living here. It could help you become more comfortable with it once you know it better. I just want to offer this up. Would you like to go see a Couples Counselor?” Ashlyn winced at her own words.

“What? You think there’s something wrong? Where is this coming from Ashlyn?” Ali panicked.

“I think you still have some fears. This living apart is uncharted territory for us. It could help us develop some better coping mechanisms. I don’t think we need it. You don’t think we need it. Possibly we do it because it’s a good idea? You know that old saw about an ounce of prevention beating a pound of cure? I could talk to our team Sports Psychologist for a few names.”

“Ashlyn I am afraid of someone poking around in our business. They won’t know anything about us and how we work. It could be trouble.” Ali was now afraid to be talking about the one subject that weighed so heavily on her.

“I think those fears are normal. They will get to know us. We’ll need to be up front and honest about all aspects of ourselves. It would worthless to do this if we didn’t. I am the one that is going to come off looking bad here. I know they won’t be judging me. Only helping us. I’ll be right beside you. You will be right beside me. Ali, life with you is end game for me. I don’t want to look back later and say we had a chance and blew it. I already know what that feels like.” Ashlyn hoped she continued to play her cards right. “Just so you know, I wasn’t gallivanting across the continent having an endless party. More like sublimating by trying to drink it away. Maybe a bit of fake it till you make it. You can ask Sarah how many times she woke in the night to find me bawling my eyes out.” Ashlyn confessed. She felt guilt weigh over her for never telling Ali the truth. 

“Do I need to decide now? Can I think it over?” Ali worried about being boxed into a corner she didn’t want to be in.

“We have nearly two weeks before we have to go back to our teams. No rush. How about we table this until Thursday so we can gather out thoughts?” Ashlyn tendered.

Ali took the hand that Ashlyn held out to her.

******************************************************

Kelley’s anxiety was building. Between dealing with everyone walking on egg shells around her and being unable to find anything out about Hope she felt useless. Deserted. She wasn’t taking care of Hope like she had vowed she would. 

Every day there were new rounds of commentators, articles, Tweets, and Blogger tirades demanding that Hope be called out on the carpet. If Kelley ever saw Julie Foudy again she would tear her a new one. Foudy’s relentless “I told you so” smugness. It was becoming clear that something would be done in regards to Hope by the USSF. 

And still no sign of Hope. Kelley had sent enough texts and voicemails to Hope to fill a wheel barrow. More would get her nowhere. Kelley had been in this waiting game before. She just thought it was over. Being in this place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 8 - The USSF takes a stand that forces Kelley's hand.


	8. When The Bough Breaks

Ali and Ashlyn were relaxing on the beach. They had lucked out. It was nearly deserted.

“Aww. Look at this Ali.” Ashlyn gushed as she passed her phone to Ali. On it was a Tweet from Emily to Kelley. It was a picture of the two of them sitting on a bench. Kelley’s face was buried in her phone. Emily’s caption declared Kelley the coolest person she knew. It was taken during the Olympics. Best of all, Kelly had even replied. Saying she was on her phone in that photo because she had been looking for tattoos for them to get. Emily was still trying. Kelley had found the will to respond. And it was endearing. 

“Looks like our Gal is still working at it Ali.” Ashlyn gleefully announced.

“We have camp coming up in a few weeks. I am a little nervous about it.” Ali worried.

“Maybe Hope won’t be there. You know the scuttle butt is that they are going to suspend her.”

“Ash, let’s do it.” Ali rushed out before she lost her nerve.

“It?” Ashlyn quizzed.

“The counseling. I want to. It hurt at first when you suggested it. I thought about all the reasons on why it was a good idea. They won out. I’m with you.” Ali held her breath. Ashlyn rolled onto Ali and started nuzzling her neck.

“Ash stop. We are on a public beach.”

“Public shmublic.” Was Ashlyn’s response as she continued. Ali found some leverage and flip them over and quickly got to her feet while holding out a hand to Ashlyn.

“Last one to the car has to wash the other ones hair.” Ali called out as she took off towards the car. Ashlyn just sauntered her way over. She didn’t mind losing that contest one bit.

********************************************

More news. Kelley could not believe what she was seeing. It was reported that Hope was selling her house. The article had the listing agent and loads of detail. Kelley believed it was true and untrue at the same time. Selling Hope’s house had always been their plan once Hope retired. Hope had promised they would settle on the coast so Kelley could surf. Where were these dreams now? Another promise ground to dust? 

Finally Kelley had had enough. She called Judy, Hopes mother. Judy had no news. Hope had been avoiding her also. Judy had even been by the house but either Hope wasn’t there or she ignored the knocking. Judy had actually thought that Hope was sequestering herself with Kelley. Judy saying that, it was like a knife in Kelley’s heart. She was failing at the one thing she swore she never would.

*************************************

Christie walked up to the door. She didn’t even knock she just strode in. She was here as a messenger and everybody hates being the messenger. Christie found Kelley in her room. “Kelley I have been calling around. Pulling in favors with everyone I know. I just got word that they are going to suspend Hope. I don’t have all the details yet but it is going to be significant. They are supposed to be meeting with her in Seattle.” 

Kelley just caved in. All the resolve that she had willed herself to muster up just vanished. “When?” Is all Kelley could manage to get out as Christie caught her in her arms pulling her onto the bed. 

“Honey, I don’t know. Soon I imagine. The longer this hangs out there the worse they look.” Christie said as she pulled Kelley up to the head board with her. “Today maybe.” There they sat into the afternoon when the news came out. Hope was suspended for six months. 

“Six months. Six fucking months. Hope won’t survive that.” Kelley whispered withdrawing into her shell. All she could think of was that Hope was alone. Alone. Kelley worried what Hope would do in the face of this suspension.

“I’m going to Seattle.” Kelley said in an eerily calm voice. It put a chill in Christie.

“Kelley wait. Give me 48 hours. Let me see if my contacts can find her. From what you have said she is in hiding. Nobody has seen her. Let me lean on Carli a little more. 48 hours and I’ll go with you.” 

“I’m packing.” Kelley said as she got off the bed. “I’m not sure I can give you 48 hours.” Kelley needed to get to Hope. “She’s alone Christie. I can’t take it. I told her she would never be alone.” 

“But Kelley, you didn’t chose this. After what Hope did……………..” Christie just trailed off. It would make no difference what she said or to recount what happened. Christie called her husband to let him know she was staying at Kelley’s. She didn’t want to take her eyes off of Kelley.

Kelley for days had went over that scene in the hallway in Rio over and over. As horrible as those words were and how they had cut so cleanly she knew why they had been spoken. Hope had tried to run and Kelley had gotten in her way. It still hurt, but now the thought of Hope going through this alone hurt worse. Kelley had never in her life met someone like Hope Solo. One minute a high feminine nurturing voice. In the next minute a voice that could lay waste to a forest. The naked Hope staring onto the camera with pride in herself. The competitive Hope charging at balls, covered in dirt and grass stains only to be standing three days later on a stage in a chic ball gown humbly accepting an award. The Hope in a business suit addressing a panel on sex and wage discrimination with well-reasoned arguments. The pensive Hope up till all hours of the night reading Voltaire while secretly watching Dr. Who. The Hope that raised chickens, grew basil, and fished on the Sound. Kelley’s mind boggled at just how many Hope’s there were. Some made her heart soar while others made her heart swell. But it was the hurt Hope that made Kelley’s heart feel as though it were being crushed in a vise experiencing all the pain Hope felt. Leaving Kelley to only want to assuage that pain. Heal those hurts. Ease that burden. And yes, Mother that woman that Kelley could barely grasp in her mind. It was that Hope that called to her loudest.

The middle of the next day it got suddenly worse. Didn’t seem possible, but it did. A trailer for Hope’s “Keeping Score” documentary was released. There was Hope looking squarely into the camera. Eyes looking wild. Full of rage and tears. “Not a suspension.” She shouted. “Terminated. Fired. Terminated my contract.” Hope raged while emphasizing her words by stabbing her fingers on the table. There was a cut away and a new shot of Hope sitting on the floor, her back to the wall. Tears running down her face from blood shot eyes. Those eyes that Kelley had always seen as being defiant in the face of any situation were now defeated. “17 years. 17 years and it’s all gone. Over. Just like that.” Hope cried. The despondency in her voice was palpable. A hopeless distress in her voice that neither Kelley nor Christie had ever heard coming from Hope. Alarms just went off in Kelley’s head. Air raid sirens they were.

“I’m calling Chris now to pack a bag for me. We’ll leave for Seattle in the morning.” Christie knew there would be no other outcome. That beaten depiction of Hope was playing over and over in Kelley’s head in an endless loop. Hope’s words in that hallway in Rio cut Kelley deeply but those images of a defeated Hope put Kelley through a shredder. Kelley had no response.

All Kelly thought was “Hope. I have to get to Hope.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 9 - Next up, Seattle.


	9. Oh God Not The Pool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is going to happen here. Next chapter. How hard to hit? I am asking others. Pretty sure I am going to hit it hard. So kind of you are. Push Me Pull Me. That's the way Kelley has felt. I can commiserate.

Christie pledged to herself to stay awake all night. To keep watch over Kelley. She just didn’t trust what the younger woman would do. Christie failed to live up to her pledge. She woke in the morning and found the space on the mattress next to her empty and cold. Kelley had escaped into the night to find Hope. Christie wasn’t angry with Kelley. She knew that it was not because Kelley had been unwilling to wait. No. Kelley had been unable to wait.

Christie checked the flights and did the math. Kelley had been in Seattle for two hours already. Christie reached for the phone. She didn’t want to make this call. She knew it would be 4:00 a.m. in the morning in Seattle but she felt that if she didn’t someone would get hurt. Christie wasn’t sure if it was fear of physical or mental damage. In the end she decided the damage would be the same. It would feel the same.

“Hello? It’s 4 fucking A.M. in the morning.” Was Pinoe’s greeting when she picked up the phone.

“Pinoe its Christie. I wouldn’t call if it wasn’t important. I need your help.”

“Yeah, sure Cap. Sorry, I didn’t look to see who was calling. What do you need?” Pinoe asked. Waking up quickly.

“It’s Kelley. I am pretty sure she is in Seattle. Probably arrived about two hours ago. I need to you to drive over to Hope’s house and check on things.”

“Christie I’m not sure my going over to Hope’s house is a good idea. It is the opposite of a good idea.” Pinoe admitted.

“Megan I know, but you are the only one there. Just drive by and check on things. Look for Kelley. Hope may or may not be there. She hasn’t been answering the door but might be hiding in the house. Kelley has a key so there is no stopping her from going in. If you need to, call the Police.”

“Police! You think it’s that bad?” Pinoe sat up straight. 

“Could be. I pray it isn’t, but I am not counting on prayers right now.” Christie allowed.

“Ok. On my way. Call you when I get there.” Pinoe didn’t want to go, but she knew she owed this.

“Thank you Megan.”

************************************

Kelley could not fathom what she was seeing as she pulled up to the house. There were two POD moving containers in the drive way. A For Sale sign in the yard. It was true. So fucking true. Kelley exited the car. It was still dark out. She willed herself to the door. She made her decision. No knocking. Just go in the house. Just get in. Her hands shook as she tried to slip her key in the lock. Finally, she got the door open. Kelley reached for the hall light switch.

Kelley was nearly paralyzed. Packing supplies strewn about the place. Most of the furnishing gone. Kelley crept from room to room turning on the lights. It was the same. Room after room. The kitchen. Empty alcohol bottles. Not good. Kelley stood at the beginning of the hall. Nowhere else to go but the bedroom. Her legs shook as she fought herself down the hall. Kelley reached for the light. Empty. Kelley wasn’t sure if she was glad or not. 

She walked back to kitchen looking for any scrap of paper that might give her a clue. Where was Hope? Hope’s word “17 years. It’s over” kept replaying in her head. That image. Hope had dedicated her life to soccer. Since she was 4 years old. Now it was taken from her. The only thing she knew how to do. Wanted to do. The thing that made Hope who she was. Her identity. Taken away like a business decision. All Kelley knew was that Hope was devastated beyond anything Hope had ever experienced before. 

Kelley’s head snapped up. The pool. Oh God not the pool. NOT THE POOL. Please. Please not the pool Kelley begged as she raced for the back door hitting the flood lights as she leapt onto the deck. Searching the water frantically. Back and forth she ran scanning the water three times. It was the one time she was glad there was no Hope to be found.

Back to the kitchen she went. Where? Where was she? A new house somewhere bought under a Trusts name so Kelley couldn’t find it? A hotel? Apartment? Then it came to her. Hope’s first house. The one in the woods. Hope still owned it. It had been awhile but Kelley had been there several times. Kelley ran from the house not bothering to turn off lights or lock the door. Kelley didn’t remember the street address but she thought she could find it. In her gut, she was sure Hope would be there. Kelley roared down the street. That had to be where Hope was.

****************************************************

Megan had just entered the street on which Hope lived when a car came barreling down the road. Jesus Christ. She looked at the tail lights of the car in her rear view mirror. She knew Hopes car and that wasn’t it. She continued up the road. As she pulled up to the house she could see all the lights were on. The PODs in the drive. No cars. She called Christie.

“I’m outside the house. All of the lights are on. I don’t see or hear anything. There aren’t any cars in the drive. I am going to park on the street and get closer to the house.”

“Be careful.” Christie advised. “Keep me on the phone.”

Pinoe approached the house. Walked around it. 

“I’m going to try the door.” The knob twisted in her hand. She decided to knock. No answer. “Christie, I am going to go in.” Pinoe was scared. She was no match for Hope Solo. If she got into an altercation with Hope she knew she was going to be on the losing end of it. 

She walked cautiously throughout the house. “Christie no one is here. When I turned on to Hope’s street. A car came racing past me going the other way. That might have been Kelley. I have looked through the clutter in the kitchen and can’t find any clue. If there was one, Kelley might have taken it with her. I am going to lock up the house and leave.”

“Megan thanks for doing this. I know it was hard.” Christie was disappointed. They had come so close. “Go home and get some sleep.”

“I will. If you think of anything else give me a call. I’ll help Kelley all I can.”


	10. Growing Up Is Hard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING! WARNING! A very strong scene is about to happen. Just felt like I needed to say something. I knew from the beginning I would have something like this in the story that is why I chose a Mature rating. I know, my other writings are not like this, but I wanted to stretch a bit. You can skip this chapter and pick back up with story in the next chapter. Wrote it that way on purpose. I have written and re-written this chapter. I am just going to go with it. I really do not like writing Hope this way, but it belongs.

Kelley stopped at the end of the drive. This is the house. She was sure of it. Lights were on. The whole house was lit up. Like Hope was expecting guests. For some reason this made Kelley uneasy. She would rather have found Hope asleep. Kelley killed the lights on the car and just barely pulled into the drive and shut the car off. Kelley had no speeches prepared. No nothing. It took her three tries to get out of the car before she succeeded. 

Kelley quietly stepped onto the porch. She felt the door handle. Unlocked. Should she just walk in or knock? If she knocked Hope could deny her entrance. She screwed up her courage and walked in. Kelley was half way down the entry hall when Hope appeared at the other end. Hope looked wild. Clothes in disarray. Hair askew. Her gait lurching. Hands against the wall to keep herself upright. Malevolent looking. This wasn’t her Hope. This wasn’t any Hope she knew.

“Get the fuck out.” Hope screamed. “Get your fucking ass out the door.”

‘Hope no. Let me help…..”

“Help? Help me Kelley? How in the fuck are you going to help me? Get my contract back? Un-kill my shithole of a career?” Hope sneered as she lurched closer to Kelley.

Kelley felt real fear. The rage just poured off Hope. Kelley had never seen this Hope and she wished she wasn’t seeing her now. This was the Hope described in the Police reports. Kelley had always thought them an exaggeration. Kelley backed up. Afraid. She had never feared Hope physically before. “We just need to get past this.” Kelley tried to reason. Beg almost.

“You stupid little girl. Grow the fuck up. There is no we to get past this. No fucking fixes Kelley. Get.” Hope bellowed as she kicked at Kelley. Kelley was frozen in place. She willed herself to move but fear kept her there.

“Are you deaf you stupid fuck? Maybe you can hear this?” Hope raged as she pulled back her fist. A snarl on her face, the likes of which Kelley had never seen before.

Kelley saw it coming. Watched it. It loomed so large as it got closer and closer. It was like she saw and heard the impact more than felt it. Kelley fell back into the door barely holding on to it. Stopping her fall. Pain began to radiate in her jaw. It was like an explosion. Kelley had never been hit before. She tasted blood in her mouth. 

Hope’s eyes were so large. Shock showed in her face. Then it slid off. Replaced again by the raging woman that Kelley didn’t know. Kelley found her feet and stumbled out the door backwards. She fell off the porch onto the ground, on her back. Hope had reached the door by then. Kelley was suffused with terror. She scrambled backwards until her head and shoulder hit a tree. Hope has always had a silent walk. Like a predator tracking prey. Not so now. Hope’s steps across that wooden porch rang out. Closer and closer she came. Then she was on that small strip of lawn with Kelly. Kelley, who could not retreat any further. Hope kicked Kelley’s left leg out and then her right as she took a step forward. Filling that V. Hope bent at her knees. Her right hand swung out. It swooped by Kelley’s face. Dug in to her abdomen as Hope grabbed the waist of her jeans and straightened her legs, pulling Kelley up by her hips. “Is this gonna cure anything?” Hope towered over her and leered. “Gonna fix it all up?” Hope said as she gave Kelley a shake. 

Just then a car with a loud muffler went by. It distracted Hope. Hope watched it and then she looked down at Kelley. No recognition in her face as to what Kelley had been to her. No memories of the future they had planned. Hope released her. Just dropped her to the ground with a thud. Hope stepped back and walked up her porch. She looked back with just loathing. “Forget how you got here.” Hope said in a hollow dead voice that Kelley had never heard before as she slammed the door shut.

Kelley rolled on her side and grasped the tree, using it to pull herself up. She staggered to her car and got in. She slumped over the wheel. She wanted to break down. No, not here she willed herself. She got the car started and drove back the way she had come. Finally she saw a park and pulled in. Kelley finally let herself break. The pain in her jaw matching the pain in her soul. 

Eventually she got out of the car and sat on a bench. Starring off into nothingness. Numb. Around Noon people started arriving at the park. Kelley knew she needed to move. To go home.

***********************************

Christie had never left Kelley’s house. She felt frantic. Someone had posted a picture on Twitter. They had recognized Kelley at Sea-Tac. Christie studied the picture. It was from the back. It looked like a grass stain on Kelley’s back and dirt smear on her leg. Something had occurred. Something physical. 

Christie was sure that Kelley was on her way back so she waited. Finally, Kelley was there. Pulling into the drive way. Christie was amazed at the calmness with which Kelley exited the car. That was until she saw Kelley up close. Kelley’s face was swollen. The skin purpling from an assault. Blood on her shirt. Her eyes were sunken. “Kelley are you alright?”

“Go home Christie. I appreciate everything you have done. I’m alright now. I found Hope. She finally succeeded in growing me up. Not even Hope Solo would call me a kid now.”

A minute passed. Christie was unsure what her next move should be. She thought she understood Kelley’s meaning. 

“Your family is waiting. Go home.” Kelley said with a hollow voice. “I really don’t need help any more. Everyone was right. I see that now. No more lessons for me.”

“Kelley I don’t feel like I should leave.”

“Christie I am going to be alright. I just need some time. Please let me have that? Go home.”

“Call if you need anything. Even if it is just to talk please. Promise?” Christie said softly as she gave Kelley a hug, a kiss on the temple and then left her in peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 11 - Fractionalized Kelley.
> 
> If you want to vent over this chapter go ahead. I can take it.


	11. The Fractions Of Kelley

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just to let you know that this is a safe chapter. No trigger warnings.

No one was sure what exactly had occurred between Hope and Kelley that day in Seattle.  Rumors abounded.  Each one more lurid than the last. No matter what terrors Kelley’s teammates dreamed up they could never match the horror that Kelley suffered that day.  In the end, all they knew is that Hope had finally succeeded in driving Kelley away.  Had driven Kelley so far away that Kelley didn’t seem to be there anymore.

 

What they had now was a ¼ Kelley.  She rarely smiled.  When she did smile it didn’t reach her eyes.  Kelley struggled on the practice field that first camp and the following friendlies game.  Emily watched out for Kelley.  Always knocked on Kelley’s door to accompany her down to breakfast.  Tried to get her to eat.  Brought her coffee. 

 

Kelley was rarely showered in the morning.  Emily would hoard strawberries from the fruit platter and slip them on to Kelley’s plate.  They were Kelly’s favorite.  A small token of Emily’s warmth and compassion for the girl.  Emily didn’t clown with Kelley.  Emily sensed that for right for now, it wasn’t appropriate.  Ali and Ashlyn hovered around also.  Sharing the load with Emily.

 

Another camp and another friendly game two weeks later.  Kelley did better on the practice field and in the game.  Her smile still didn’t reach her eyes.  Emily still watched out for Kelley.  Kept the routine up.  Slipped her strawberries.  Ali and Ashlyn still hovered.  Christie did what she could do on her end.  Offering safety and friendship that didn’t pry.

 

The next camp wasn’t until Mid-November.  Occasionally Kelley showed a real smile.  Weak though they were.  Emily worked hard to get those.  Now Kelley was showered in the morning.  She told Emily thank you for the strawberries.  

 

Kelley wasn’t participating in conversation.  Still quiet.  She was at least listening now.  Kelley pulled none of the shenanigans that were her trade mark.  What they had now was a ½ Kelley.  She did well on the practice field and in the game.  Soccer Kelley was back in full force.  She still struggled with Hope not being in goal.  They had been on these fields so long together.  Kelley’s mind welled up at the thought.  What would she do if Hope was in goal?  Best too just keep going.

 

January came.  Kelley smiled frequently.  Even said a few puns.  Kelley had even knocked on Emily’s door to pick her up for breakfast and surprised Emily by gifting her with a few pieces of kiwi.  Emily’s favorite.  To Emily this small gift looked like a good thing.  Kelley was looking outside of herself. 

 

Kelley went to movie night.  Threw a pillow at the issuer of a corny joke.  Kelley actually sought out interaction with Emily, Ali, and Ashlyn.  She was now a ¾ Kelley.  Kelley was starting to interact outside of this circle of safety.

 

March camp.  Kelley’s smile was back in full force.  Kelley even teamed up with Emily to pull a few pranks.  Kelley cheated at cards and stole money in Monopoly games.  She was 7/8’s Kelley.  Emily, Ali, and Ashlyn relaxed.  Kelley had fought her way back. They no longer had to keep guard.  Kelley was wading in deeper water.  Moving herself out into her world.

 

During April’s camp, plans were made by part of the team.  A surfing trip to California.  Tobin, Christen, Kelley, Emily, Ashlyn, and Ali.  A house on the beach near San Francisco.  Kelley’s old stomping grounds.  The excitement showed in Kelley.  It was good to see.  Kelley was now whole.

 

***************************************************

“Ash I swear that I feel like some middle aged old lady.  They just seem so young.”  Ali pouted.

 

“What?  How can you say that?  There is like 3 or 4 years between us and them.  Ok, probably more.”

 

“Emily is only 24.  Maybe it’s really not an age thing.  Maybe it’s a how I just feel so settled and they are still running around half the night not really caring about what they are doing next.”  Ali reasoned.

 

“What is so bad about that?  Being settled?” Ashlyn asked exasperated.  “Isn’t that the whole point?”

 

“You’re right.  I don’t want to go back to those days of the “does she or doesn’t she” feelings.  The “is this too much” phase.  Is it going to last fears.  Nope.  Happy where we are.  And better than that, I feel certain about where we are going.  I think that counseling did wonders.”

 

“I’m glad we did it also and I ‘m glad you feel it was beneficial.  No matter what the work is Ali I want to do it for us.  It might scare me a little but the alternative is a nightmare I don’t want to have.”  Ashlyn confessed as she rolled onto her side and into Ali.  “$10 says Emily gets a kiss from Kelley at some point during this trip.” 

 

“Ashlyn I swear if you keep pushing them at each other you are going to mess it up.  It’s only been 7 months since Kelley and Hope split.  I’m not sure Kelley is ready for that.” Ali considered.

 

“Well they don’t leave each other’s side.  They stay up late talking.  How about we bet on the May camp?  Have you looked at their Twitter and Instagram lately?”  Ashlyn happily mused.  “Hell everyone has caught on.  The whole internet ships them.  So’Hara.  Sounds like a desert.  So’Hara, Sahara, get it?  I like it.”  Ashlyn happily muttered to herself.

 

**************************************

 

Hope sprawled in her recliner furiously looking at Kelley’s social media pages over and over just like she did every night.  Torturing herself.  This surfing trip infuriated her.  To top it off, there was Ali and Ashlyn tagging along.  _Who the fuck did Emily Sonnett think she was?_  

 

A new posting just came up on Kelley’s Instagram.  It was a picture of her and Emily sharing a blanket as they sat by a bonfire.  The caption declared it was happy times.  Hope hurled her bottle at the wall.  There were numerous holes in that wall by now.  Hope didn’t even sweep up the glass anymore.

 

Hope stayed in her self-dug pit.  Wallowed in it.  Smearing the disgust and self-loathing all over herself.  This couldn’t stand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Getting to the end of the story. it won't be long now. Thank you all for hanging in there.


	12. Guests.  Some Not Expected

Early July there was a bye week. Kelley’s roommates were dispersing to enjoy it. Emily was arriving that day to spend the week with Kelley. Kelley wanted to show Emily the Jersey shore. If Kelley were honest, she much preferred the West Coast but she had come to love the Jersey shore in its own way.

Emily arrived late morning and they had a light lunch before taking off for the beach. They had planned to surf away the day and then hit a Mexican restaurant that Kelley liked. Just the two of them. They had found it hard to find alone time during camps and when their teams played each other. They could steal way a few hours at a time and they made the most of those few hours. This week was going to be a test of sorts. They would be on their own 24/7. 

They hit the beach full force and full of cheer. They alternated between surfing, throwing a Frisbee, running across the wet sand chasing crabs, and picking up stray pieces of broken shell. Kelley hadn’t felt this carefree in a long time. She didn’t want the day to end. 

Eventually hunger forced them off the beach and to the restaurant. They ordered beers and a chicken fajita platter for two. Emily let Kelley hog the guacamole. In return Kelley relinquished her share of the pico de gio. 

Kelley rubbed her lower back. “I don’t know about you but I took a couple of rough falls. I’m feeling it.”

“I’m feeling a suit full of sand.” Emily tossed back.

“How about a hot shower when we get back?” Kelley offered with a shy grin.

“How about a nice warm bubble bath?” Emily returned feeling bold. “To help you with your back of course.” She added with a demure smile. They were still new at this.

“Sounds perfect.” Kelley said as she leaned across the table and took Emily’s hand. I deserve this. A long week with the woman I am getting to know. Want to know. Someone who is nice to me. Someone even tempered. Someone that wants to please me. Make me happy. Someone that tried. Shared the load. Kelley was sure it had never been like this with Hope. She supposed there were days, but they didn’t last long. Kelley had to admit that she hadn’t cared. She had Hope. Elusive complex Hope with the icy blue eyes and a steely stare that had never failed to make Kelley’s pulse race.

They exited the restaurant to find it raining. They laughed as they scampered through the raindrops to the car. The glow of their day refusing to allow the rain to put a damper on things. They entered the house. “Last one in the tub is a rotten egg.” Emily challenged as she ran up the stairs.

“I am willing to be the rotten egg.” Kelly called out. “I’ll get us a couple beers. Bubble bath is under the counter. I like lots of bubbles.” Kelley reached the kitchen with a full on smile. Humming to herself as she went to the fridge. She noticed the answering machine blinking. Seven calls missed. Seemed like a lot. She punched the play button. It was hang up, after hang up, after hang up. She found that a little disconcerting, but just didn’t care. She was happy. Whatever that was could wait until tomorrow. She would not give today up.

Then there was a knock at the door. She wasn’t expecting anyone. Kelley felt uneasy. Her mind went to all those empty calls. She walked to the door. Feelings of dread swam in her mind and she opened it slowly.

“Hope?” Kelley asked in disbelief. “What? What’s going on? Why are you here?” Kelley took a step back.

“That’s a lot of questions you have. Aren’t you gonna ask me in Kelley?” Kelley could smell the alcohol on Hope’s breath. Just like she could the last time she had seen Hope. When Hope had finally made a grown up out of her.

“Hope this isn’t a good time.” Fear was knotting in her belly.

“Why not Kelley?” Hope challenged getting louder. Filling the door way with her body causing Kelley to back up yet again.

“I have guests. You need to leave.” Kelley tried to say as evenly as she could. Praying her voice did not crack in the process and show her fear. Feeling her wonderful day slip away.

“And just who would your guests happen to be Kelley?” Hope sneered. “A wet behind the ears runt of a defender that you just can’t stop posting about? Is that right? Huh Kelley?” 

Kelley now worried about Emily upstairs. Kelley, since the day Hope grew her up, now believed Hope was capable of anything. A powder keg just waiting to go off.

Emily had just turned the spigot off. Then she heard it. She couldn’t hear the words, but they sounded mean. Emily walked down the stairs and to the hallway. “Everything alright Kelley?” 

Kelley turned towards Emily. That was when Emily could see who was at the door. No, everything was not alright.

“It’s ok Emily. Go back upstairs. Hope is just leaving.” What Kelley wanted to say was run Emily, run.

“No. I think I‘ll stay down here. I will be in the kitchen.” Emily didn’t want to leave Kelley in that hallway but she sensed her remaining there was just going to amplify Hopes anger even more. Emily couldn’t stop herself. She remembered the warning she had received from Ashlyn. Hope comes back and Kelley takes her back. 

“So I was right. Didn’t know you liked them with training wheels still on them Kelley. Is that your new thing?” Hope meanly teased. 

Emily could hardly keep herself in place.

Kelley looked at Hope for just a second before she answered. “She’s not a little girl. She is someone who cares about me. Is nice to me. Strives to make me laugh and feel good. And she does all of that without raging at me. Kicking me to emotional hell. Or punching me in the face. It’s nice Hope. So nice. I should have tried this years ago.” Kelley braced herself for Hope’s come back. She knew she shouldn’t have said that to a drunken Hope. In fact Kelley had never spoken to Hope that way ever before. But, she was a grownup now and she wasn’t going to let Hope talk about Emily that way. Kelley had had enough of Hope Solo to last her a lifetime.

Emily heard this and felt hope. Maybe this time Kelley would resist returning to the cycle.

Hope could not fathom Kelley talking to her that way. Hope wanted to run. She knew it was too late. She knew she had gone too far. Let things go too long. This was just a confirmation. Hope grabbed the knob of the door and actually slammed it in her own face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go. I will warn you in advance that the next might be hard to take for some of you.


	13. I’m Just A Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING. I can't say more with out giving it away.
> 
> This is the finale chapter. Short and to the point.

Hope strode to her car and roared out of the drive way barking the tires as she went. She made for the twisty road that hugged the coast line. Rain was still falling. It was now pitch black out. She reached under her seat for the bottle that was stowed there.

Hope knew what happened to people who felt like she did. Who did what she was doing. Hope had never, in her bleakest of times, had ever wanted that more. She drove on into the night. Putting distance between herself and Kelley. 

She took long swigs from the bottle. She turned the radio on full blast. Yes, Kelley was a grown up woman now thought Hope. “Good for Kelley.” Hope said as a toast while raising that bottle to her lips. Hopes foot steadily added pressure to the gas pedal on that dark rain slicked road. 

*******************************************

The siren went off in the fire house. A water rescue this time. A single car had run off the road into the ocean. Two boats, a wrecker, and an ambulance raced to the scene. It was a race against time now. The boats were launched. Divers entered the water. A single body was pulled from the car. Resuscitation efforts began.

The car was winched from the water. Inside that car was a purse. Inside that purse was a wallet. Inside that wallet was an I.C.E. On that I.C.E. listing, a Kelley O’Hara was identified as first contact. A call was made.

Kelley and Emily had just dried off. They were working hard to shake off the intrusion of Hope on their day. Kelley felt it was a losing battle. It was unfinished. A final chapter was coming and she didn’t want to read it. The phone rang. Kelley knew it couldn’t be ignored. Her hand shook as picked up the phone.

“Oh God. God no.” Kelley slid to the floor dropping the phone. Face in her hands. Mind reeling. Trying to comprehend the incomprehensible.

“Ma’am. Ma’am. Are you still there?” The voice on the phone called out.

Kelley stared at the phone. She had to reach down deep inside herself to summon up all the will she had. “I’m ……I’m just……… I’m just a friend. Is there a listing for Judy Solo on the card? Yes, Seattle. Her Mother. You should call her.” 

********************************************************

It was a month later. Kelley stood in the parking lot struggling to pull her wetsuit on. She lifted her surfboard off the roof rack. Approaching the water was hard. It had never been an effort before. This was different. The last lines in the book. Her book of Hope.

Kelley paddled out into the ocean. She made no runs at any waves. Just bobbed on her board. Head drooping. Silent tears running down her face. Those tears ran down her wetsuit and joined with the ocean. The ocean that had succeeded where Kelley had failed. The ocean that had laid finale claim to Hope Solo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this story. Please feel free to weigh in on it if you wish.
> 
> I will be starting another story in a few days. Krashlyn based. No worries though, no one dies. It's a fluff fic.


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